Friday, December 30, 2016
Hardly a day left for the year 2016 , to close . A new calendar, updated federal holidays list, festivals and many things, are to come and surprise us. It is an English New Year - A calendar followed in most parts of the world, by Human beings! Yes, "Human Beings" who have turned as cold ones, "Human Beings" who have started running behind the bond sheets named money, "Human beings" who withstand the cold and sun at the country's border, "Human Beings" who keep forgetting good things, "Human beings who plough the land to feed the world and "Human beings" who are still human amidst all of these, clinging on to the last rays of Hope, to see this world, a better place to live in.
The year that is about to pass by, has been an year of learning, surprises, sadness, mysteries, miseries and fortune, too. Having faced all these, we are all eager to look forward to the New year - at the stroke of 12, to change the calendar, to get a 'special memories' diary, for a party on Sat eve, a get together on Sunday and get back to offices on Monday!
To many of us, 2016 had been tough and brutal. And to me, many of my loved ones, returned to their origin, leaving a rich legacy of sweet memories and a pair of eyes in me to shed tears for them and a little heart to remember them. This year was a phase of hardening and acclimatization, like a new sapling from a sterile flask to the green house to the real soil. Emotional traumas were many. Leaving my job at CavinKare was the 'most toughest' moment of 2016 for me.
To all of us, 2016 had been kind. And to me, it was gentle and surprising too. This year gave me a promotion from Miss. to Mistress - to add up stress in a man's life (supposed to be, for him). And, from there on, a new phase of life began. I stepped in to a new country, met new people, newer culture and a gelling phase has always been interesting. I learned to be more patient. Rather than making fun of the "intolerance" posts of FB, I got used to tolerance. I turned more inwardly, spending a lot of time in Solace and finding happiness in my own self. I drastically changed my association with Science and the Words. Still, I hope to revive those two lost love, back to my life. I am transplanted into a bigger family, newer persons, newer attitudes that still remains to be new.
As the last day of the roller coaster year comes to an end, I am not sure if 2016 could be called a 'successful' year per se, because I am not sure of defining success.
If success means A girl leaving her parents and the home where she grew up - posing to be strong and tell her parents, "I am fine and happy", then yes, I am successful in 2016.
If success means a girl trying to get along with the new family and understand the roles and responsibilities of self, then again, Yes I am successful in 2016.
If success means earning honest people and their love and care, for life time, then I am highly successful for the extended family of friends who are there to infinity.
If a successful year means a no - tear-only-smiles, then I am unsuccessful in 2016.
If success means climbing ahead in the professional career, then again, I am unsuccessful in 2016.
If success means faking oneself to every one - be it near or dear, and earn a fake love, lo and again, I am highly unsuccessful, as I have not yet learnt to be fakingly polite or send a fake love and bite behind the back.
With so much of incidents inked in the pages of 2016, my 2017 is awaiting with new pages for me to pen down my moments. I am not sure, of how to write or what goes in or what I foresee, into the new pages. I don't even have any resolutions to make on the new year's eve. Still, I smile and carry the hope like all of you with all due eagerness and excitement to welcome the new year 2017.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Yeah, you read it right. But, the clamor for disproportionate punitive military strikes will only come to your mind, reading the two countries' name together.
It was a Friday evening. Checking out the websites for a good pedi - mani spa, I stumbled upon "Samina Saloon and Spa". Located in the busy areas of New York City, it was a very compact salon with all ultra sophisticated equipment. When I got in, there were few customers, who were late and I understood, I would not be able to have my services that time. I booked an appointment the next day. Hubby gotta work on weekends too, so my plans got easy. Samina, was glad that I returned the next day. She apologized for the delays and the customer etiquette of hers was more than appreciable. (Yeah, Coffees and Green teass, for the rainy chill climate, is really a big deal, people!)
I learnt while talking to her that she was from Pakistan. During the services, she kept talking to me about general Country commotions, American climate and weddings. Her excitement when I told I am an Indian and newly married, was not just a professional courtesy, it was genuine. She is such a brave and bold Entrepreneur, a cancer fighter and survivor, A proud mother of three kids who emphasized that religion is a way to feel God and it is generally the media people who make happen the clamor between the two countries. She believes in respecting the fellow humans is the good mark of respect shown to the religion. It was a rejuvenating conversation with her. I went in for a pedi - mani treatment, but looking at the quality of service and the cost of service provided made me to take few more services. I should definitely mention, the staff there were so courteous and expertise in the services they provided.
Getting independents to understand what we are trying to do has always been her challenge in running this industry. She always believed that there is an answer for every challenge she faces. While leaving the spa, the lesson learnt from her and team, "Stay cheerful and be courteous to people. It costs nothing but gives many things!"
New Yorkers, if you want to get the best beautician services at the best rates, I recommend, Samina Saloon and Spa, 1134 Lexington Ave, New York, NY 10075. Dial her up, on 212 - 628 - 9770, Block the dates and get beautiful.
Unsung Heroine - No Longer !
Saturday, December 17, 2016
What could you probably do when you see the fairy tale fails? A supposed to be fairy tale transforms otherwise because of the prince(ss) turns not to be the one, due to the temporary curse of the witch called Ego. When two strangers meet and are destined to live together in the name of a wedding and are expected to write a 'happily-ever-after' tales, there is no such possibilities of having a smooth journey 'initially or ever after' for that matter. The journey will be infuriating and incensing, in all ways. More than the prince and the princess of the fairy tales, it shall be the ministers passing the bill, to steam up the entire tale.
There are many why's that will keep lingering always. No matter what, these whys and why can'ts can never be faced by the opponents and these why cants can never have their answers, except "that is how i am!" Here are the few Why and Why can't - summarized as few . .
Why should I alone change ?
What did you do , for me to change for you ?
Why cant you give a try, when I have changed much ?
When you can not , Why should I ?
These interrogatives end with " I cant because I am a girl / boy ! "
And so, the fairy tale gets an end card.
As a matter of fact, when the couples can no longer agree on a point, there will only be storms and cyclones in the family. The unavoidable - fierce - argumentsake- quarrels will always give destructive effects on both the parents and the kids when in future, it comes for their own family.
Marriages are never sealed and no one is struck in the name of that. Toxicity in this relationship as such can never be tolerated. It is better to part and go on their own way rather to live a life for others' sake.
And, when parting is done, just rethink of the consequences and the stereotyping stamping given in the society and the life - then - after !
"Forgiveness is a scent that remains in the air for long. Holding on to grudges is like acid that will deteriorate the holder only!" - Anonymous.
Friday, December 16, 2016
Lying in a pensive mood , I found a piece of myself, missing completely from me. I have never realized when that piece of mine was lost. That light me and the lighter me is now heavy despite chopping a letter! The transition from M.I.S.S to M.R.S - literally seems small but actually is big and heavy. Missing of I.S and Adding R - One for Two - Yes, one for them two ! Not only the title was cut short , my many things were cut short - by myself mostly, by others mildly and by myself for the others largely! Now, who are the others? A whole bunch of awesomely seen people who completely differ from my long term known ideologies , a whole some of people who have different eyes for me and those visions, I never knew, existed at all, before hand! Life had given lots of surprises and most of them had turned out to be bad. My rebellious thoughts had subtle down, I wore on some new thing called patience and there, patience was again mistook and argued for. My allergies towards arguments got aggressive, pensive moods and passive moods were mostly experienced. Still, I managed to fetch a curve and put it on my lips. All new , all strange and not a soul to embrace.
When I think , why me alone, I get to listen about the "untold stories" from most of the females who "were" a major part of my life, earlier. Taken aback by surprises as to why such stories had been untold, until then, I started wondering, why is it always the power of the powerless who bleed at least five days in a month, been put to stake. Why is it always tough for the powerless to embrace another powerless and show her the power of love? What are the grudges held on for? Why are unforgivable and unforgettable things keep happening only to these powerless? Time never comes to ask, why! And that is the hidden side of the fairytale - projected - wedding, in India.
The super - amazing - sensible counselor keeps telling, "Change can stir a relationship into a new phase of intimacy as well as free each individual to develop in new ways. Remember, you are together because you are in love , well at least during the larger part of the days ! ! !"
Thursday, December 15, 2016
"Once upon a time . . "
And that is how many sweet things are remembered. She sits in one corner, walks down the memory lane, revisits many things, peeps in to her secret orchid which had always been her hide out from the external chaos and envisions the past as a reel. Then, she pushes every thing in to an airy bag, tucks them tightly, labels it as sweet memories, keeps it in an area where everything remains unspoilt, erases her thought of going back to those good old time, returns to the recent picture, realizes the past her is in no way related to the present her, makes up her mind that she should never breathe on those unspoilt stuffs . . .
The story of life full of silence, continues - a silence that had always been strange to her in her previous phase .
Saturday, December 03, 2016
Like another girl, I too sit and dream of wedding. The gorgeous silk sarees, the wedding sangeeth , the bigger crowds, the yummy meals, the matching jewelries, the romantic looks, the shy dimples . . . All these imaginations, never came to an end until I attended my own wedding ceremony , a few months ago. What does all these stuff really mean ? I tried to dedicate the hours of solitude to do a little bit of learning about the “wedding” ceremonies and of course, yes, rewinding to relive the tough and strong parts of the wedding! After my harangue of an investigation, I just realize that weddings as the industry-driven, tulle-embellished monster is not what we had practiced in the earlier times. Although we may believe that weddings are ‘traditional’ ceremonies, the foundations of which are rooted in long-practiced pact, the fact of the matter is, the purposes and procedures of weddings have varied greatly over time, culture and status. And what we’ve wound up with? Not the happily – ever – after, pla cards, for real life. We crumble with the money , ego and the dirtiest ever race named “obsessions and possessiveness”. Who is right, who is superior, who is wrong, who is to be humiliated? These are the main entities, that marriages feed to. Even the love is devoured by the hungry beast called “Ego”. What is the point in spending laks and crores of money? Let us try not to create dream weddings, but a successful wed lock life .
She had just moved to the new place and new family. She recalled how her early days were. There were a beautiful mess of people; a bunch of humans who happened to find themselves in the same corner of the world, all in all attempting to make sense of what this life thing was about. Filled to the brim with wild dreams and an energetic interest, she had a craving for anything was conceivable, similar to something greater. She would hear the talks late into the night, thinking back about a part of the world, a period in her own life that brought her so much joy. She would sit peacefully, dazzled by these stories about warm summer evenings and her winter walks in the boulevards. To her, it is a Pain that is spread far and wide. This pain is the very reason for people to leave their homes and loved ones , to go in search of something else that they have never tasted, the reason for people to wander into the obscure; for an opportunity to find all around the globe live, the way they inhale and love and deal with each other. It appears to be implausible, this idea that there's a human out there, put on this planet particularly for her . . .