The constant of my life.!

November is a month of happenings. Prior to his demise, I had happy memories and post, there were many traumas! Let me recall the beautiful memories and try to let go off the trauma, now. I would like to paint the beauty of life, as of now. May be, later, when I am long gone, you can focus on my ‘November Trauma’!

November was the month that laid the foundation of our birth. Yes, the Mohans marriage. Year after year, every year, Kailash and I used to gift our parents many tiny stuffs. We would hide under the cot or close ourselves in the cupboard, break our piggybank – buy things or make things - paint – wrap and do many things in secrecy. It is supposed to be a surprise, you know! The November, before his sad end, Kailash and I, organized a party with our cherished circle to commemorate the 25^th year wedding anniversary of our parents. Rings, new dresses, dinner and invitations, many things came to them as a surprise.

Sitting at the back bench, me and Kailash passed running commentaries, pun – intended, for every wish that the couple received from the erudite, on stage. At one point, both of us, ran outside to have a hearty laugh and came back to the celebration with laughter choking us, literally.

A last picture of our complete family - Nov 2014.

A couple of days ago, when I was accessing my drive for few pictures, there was him in many folders, his life measurable by the bunch of images, the all smiles and the all cuteness, the strict facial expressions, the childish twinkle in his eyes, the divine aura spread all over, there were many images. There were some videos, which presumably had his voice in it but then, I had no courage left in me to open those video bytes.

Year after year, the anniversaries are to come. But, we will miss him till eternity. We will miss his pun – intended comments to pull my parent’s legs. I will miss him while planning surprises. I will miss him during the dress selections. I will miss him to comment on the colours of my choice. I try not to miss him, by looking at the sky. Most of the times, he kisses me as rain. I have been struggling to accept that everything around me - the people, the season, time - is always changing. I realized he was the only constant I ever had and will never have. I am trying not to allow the sadness in my mind to be my only sibling left. But sometimes, I have got no other choices.