“Idiot
are you hearing me ?” Oh this Yell turns to vain coz this guy is busy in
instant text messaging.. “Beti ye sare saman lekhe aana” “Are aapki beti ithni
silent hai?” “Oh the fullform of feminity, bent heads” Oh no Please don’t
misunderstand, it is just that, the girls have a 3G connection and a whats app
or the hike facility in their mobile. It is too hard to find out a person on
road, without a mobile phone ! Such is the impact of cellular technology in the
contemporary period. We had always thought what would happen if mobiles were
not invented, how a day would be without a mobile, what if mobiles do not need
electrical charges and all that. Here is a funny crazy creepy idiotic
imagination of what would happen if the mobile phones had life.
…
It
is about 7.00 am in the morning.
Somewhere, “Riya Wake up, Riya Wake up!” call comes. I twist, twitch and
turn, realizing that I am under my quilts. Slowly, fetching my mobile, I try to
activate the snooze options. And, the alarm is put to rest, for the first time.
In another three minutes time, my cellular phone beeps again and the snooze
drama continues.
For
the fifth time, when I am about to snooze, *Crunch* my fore finger is hurt.
Shocked, I wake up and realize the evil grin on my mobile phone. Blinking the
shrinking eyes, I look again. Yeah that is my mobile, having life, with an evil
grin!
“You
will know how I am going to treat you, today, for today is my day” says my
mobile. “And, you can not say to any one, that I can talk or bite you!”, it
continues in a husky voice! Shocked, I plan to leave the mobile in its place,
switching off. But shucks, It does not get switched off!
I
get ready to rush, push and hush! By the time I refresh and get ready for the
day, the crazy mobile, crunches into the cable wires. When questioned, SHE (the
mobile, and from on the mobile is in feministic gender! ) replies that she is
hungry and hence she nibbles the wires so as to “charge” herself up! I recall,
how many times, I have drained her battery and kept her connected to the plug
points always. Sad, Father Time, you know !
From
now on, the trouble starts! Every time, when I get a call, I tend to answer and
she lets me to do that! And, my incoming call frequency is so high that, I have
to answer, officially, personally and all ly calls, kind of, continuously! But
the catch that she keeps for me is, I cannot speak over her, for more than two
minutes! If I do so, She gets, HOT and BITES my ear lobes! Such a lovely damsel
she turns out to be! :-P ;-) Yeah, any call, NOT MORE than two minutes!
In
the mid of the day, when I am at the tea club, I receive a call from my
beloved, and I try to answer it! Oh my, she changes the ringtones that I had
personalized and yells out a very nasty ring tone that I am now the laughing
stock for my colleagues! Whilst I am answering the call, she lets out hasty
squishy noises after her two minutes that all of a sudden, everybody gazes at
me and I am embarrassed!
Every
time when my what’s app buzzes “hey buddy, what is up?”, She gets too weird
that she starts draining all the available 3G signals, either on the mobile or
off the mobile ! Clearly confusing, right ? Yeah, She receives all the 3G
signals in the surroundings and supplies to me, leaving both me and my Network
operator systems confusing or she works strictly as if she is in a Jammer Zone!
Ensuring, that my connectivity is Balanced on an average!
She
gulps in now all the contact number stored in her and leaves me clueless now!
Any number that is flashed in her screen is identified as unknown number ! Now,
as I do not know my wife’s and girl friend’s number by heart, I have to wait,
think and analyze before I send any text to any of these two people! Else, I
would definitely be in soup! ! !
Every
time, when I touch her, I am treated well! A bite, a punch or sometimes a lick
! Come on, please do not understand it to be so sensual! Every verbal deed
mentioned above, is a form of allegations and not sensual supports!!! Every
time when I try to punch in the number to be contacted, I get a punch on my
face, as how, In the same shear, I punched the numbers in the dial pad!
During
some emergency calls, she goes phut and dead! When I am vexed of her behavior
and throw her aside, she works in full swing and is accessible to every body
else ! A day, one full day, of 24 hours, My mobile has treated me as how I have
been treating her, so far. The urge that I did to her, the intensity of work
load that I gave to her, the way how I ill treated her, every thing, was done
back to me, by my mobile.
.
. .
That
was a small imagination, of how mobile abuse would revert to us, if mobiles had
a chance to! And, yeah I can hear you, let me give in! I am a constant and a
very fast user of mobile, that I exploit the mobile to its fullest extent! Face
book whats app, we chat, tang, viber, games, google, music player, video
player, cameras, albums, calls, many thing and everything that could be done on
mobiles, I do every day ! And I hope, that’s why I might dream like this ! ! !
PS::
Why mobile Is personalized to SHE is that, sometimes back I read some lyrics
comparing River and Females, “ Nadhi Karai Thaandi vittaal, Kaadum kadalum
Kollathu – Pennum padi thaandivittal Naadum veedum thaangathu “ Yeah Now mobile
and female are the same. When their tempers are aggravated, the others are left
mortified! ! !
