Unbroken Promises made . . . .

The Month January of every year led to new beginnings, new thoughts and newer attitude. We loved to celebrate January. There is a new year day, Pongal day, Kanupidi, Republic day and what not… Kanupidi is a function that the Indian – Bhramin ladies in the house celebrate for the prosperity of their brothers. Kanupidi day falls on the next day of Pongal. Every home, that has a brother, celebrated Kanupidi. Ours too! We never missed a year. Even when our granddad passes away, the ladies of the home thought we must keep kanupidi or atleast pray for our brothers’ peace and prosperity.

I was never an early bird, you know. Getting up early in the morning seems like a really bad thing to me. Especially when I began going to college. Kailash used to wake me up in the mornings, especially for on these days, telling me to memorize the ‘rhymes’ that we sing during the occasion. It used to be funny. He would do most of the things on behalf of me – chopping sugarcane to pieces, mixing rice, bring and arranging leaves for the morsel of food to be kept, every tiniest of the tiny things was taken care by him. Mom used to be so proud of her son, who helps her in the kitchen chores. And, after the event – for which he ‘helped most’, I would get a present from him in return. It is beautiful, isn’t it?

I used to make promises to him – ‘I will get you this. I will get you that. I will take you outside to this place.’ So on and so forth. But, when I remember, with all pain and tears welling up, his promises were loaded with infinite love. His promises were not compromising. His promises were futuristic and his promises were realistic. His last words to me, a few hours before the horrible moment were, “Stay calm. Never be afraid of the new people. They aint gonna be new anymore. All of them are your family. You are their family. In any worse situations, remember, stay calm. It will be difficult. Yet stay calm. Call me to tell , ‘you wanna see me’ and I shall be before you in the least possible time. But, until then, stay calm during adverse times.” I, a young lady of 25, was a career oriented, goal driven dumbass who never foresaw anything beyond lab and research. When talking of wedding, my first thought was Fear. I did not even share the fear with my parents. Neither did they take the initiative to clear my fear for they thought, I would eventually figure out and be a good girl. But what surprised me was, kailash talking to me about all this. His promise made me say yes to a wedding. Deep down my heart, I am sure, he is still keeping up his promise to me, in some form or the other and it is me who is failing to realize it.

I wanted to go back to those times of promises being made. I wanted to change my promises. "I will be there for you in times of adversity. I would be there to hold your back. I would be there to snatch you away from the clutches of death angel..." I wanted to... But, I realized, I have new promises to be made to newer people of my life. I realize, I must strive hard to keep up those promises. I began making promises, 'Our lives are finite. But, my love and care for you shall stay for you till eternity. Until then, I shall strive to be honest and transparent in the relationship that we share. I shall be there when and if needed and possible.." 

Making New Promises that are more meaningful and more realistic......

x

PS; To pacify my own mind, I requested if I can cook food for a kid at my work place, He  generously accepted the offer.I owe the kiddo some prayer. 

The Power of Positivity

And, it is the resolution week of the year! Before beginning, let me wish you all a healthy, peaceful 2018 ahead. Let us strive hard to understand each other’s differences and maintain a less – strained relationship, forego jealousy and hatred and escalate the humanity within us to make the world and days to come a great one!

Most of us, brood over the insults of past and would complain/keep complaining the bad things that have happened to us. But this year, for me, began in a different way. I met a game changer woman at my workplace who by her actions, taught me to think differently.

On the first working day of 2018, as we quenched our screaming tummy with yummy food and warmed up our fingers with a cup of hot cocoa, we started talking about ‘women at workplace’. Trust me, it was not at all a gossip. But, it was about the different challenges that most of the women face, differently, in the workplace and how should those challenges be overcome.

We were sharing our challenges that we were then facing: having an 18 month old baby at home who was close to being sick, being robbed in a foreign land, searching for a new career opportunity with a ViSa sponsored, writing a couple of research articles, and the list went on and on for every one of us, personally and professionally. When I was feeling low about my ‘relocation’ process and letting go of a promising career (which I always loved to take up) that I would have had, if I had stayed here, I understood, I am not alone!

Having an 18 month old baby girl at home, my colleague travels to her workplace, completes her job responsibility and gets back home to be a beautiful mother in her 40’s and yet, she is so positive and inspiring. “You are worthy of more than what you can comprehend,” she says. “Show your denial, if it is reasonable, with a smile. Being bold is beautiful definitely takes a lot of bravery,” she smiled. I was astonished by the positivity she carried with her and the aspirations she was thrusting upon all of us. I thought, at that moment, ‘when a multi-challenge – facing – women like her can smile so gleefully, why not me?’ That was her impact on me. That was when I realized, being bold with a smile, matters!

She was the one who suggested #365gratefuldays, which I am currently posting on my social media feed. The concept is, to be grateful for the small things around us, spreading cheer and positive vibes. Down the lane, when we look back, we shall have umpteen number of things to be glad for.

When I thought of whatever I ‘complain’ about, they are actually challenges in disguise and everyone has their own shares, fairly measured and bestowed upon them to face. Well, I am no mother of an infant and a teen yet but will definitely be one, in times to come. And, at that time of my life, I will be having added responsibilities to what all I have now. I can’t escape from those responsibilities. When I pondered over, again and again, the thirty /forty minutes of conversation with her, all I understood was these: a) When we start counting the blessings that are in small forms as well, we will stop complaining the negativity. b) It is okay to say NO for an answer provided you are reasonable and honest to your own self. c) Fight for injustice but know what you are fighting for. Not to forget, fight with a smile and not with a curse, which most of us do not do (including me).

Let us stop arguing over the ‘last seen status’, ‘who is great’, ‘who is better’ and all those profanely insane questions and start living a life of substance, knowing our worth, acknowledging the small happiness, spreading positivity and embracing humanity!

Cheers!

Again, Happy 2018!

Lots of Love,

Riya ©

Ps: Thanks Semanti !