Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Strifes filled out

Everything seems tough. I keep reminding myself, nothing is permanent. But right now, all I could see is plenty of darkness and say, Oh my, its getting tough! I am not sure if you are married, but I am. Am not sure if you had experienced the love of a sibling, I had. I never realized how much he had filled in my lives until I understood that its almost two years since he started his heavenly abode. The first year was so quiet and kept me aside from bawling as I had a lots of responsibilities infront of me. The second year started getting harder. We both never shared a room, but shared a home meant only for ourselves. The home was made of life, laughter, fights, tears and craziness. But now, I am alone in that secret home. Just left to myself.
PC: WBK Photography

It started getting harder day by day, geographical dislocation or relocation, giving entry passes for many strangers turned soulmate and cherished circle, never never helped but worsened the worst. Multiple waterfalls, that never had occurred earlier,  began to see the light. I began to long for that comfort place, which I had always been sure of but the so called God plucked mercilessly. All I had to do was to stay calm and cry in solitude in search of self solace , randomly, through out the day. The shock was when I realized the special place in my comfort zone was no more available, ONLY for me and the blame was put on the society. I keep missing my own self, I keep missing my kith and kins, I get the insane fear of fearing the loss, I keep missing many things. But all i have to , is to grow ! Its really hard but I have to grow. Its a big process, but I have to grow. Yes, I have to grow, to understand what it means being a girl. I have to grow, to realise that being a girl cant buy back a place in your home. I have to grow, to understand the "society". It is hard, but I have to !